It is beyond my control.

I arrived late for work. One hour late. I am NEVER late. Yet it’s the second time I was late this month. Yes I was out last night, drunk out of my mind, partying till 2 or 3am. But that’s not why I was late. I was late because I didn’t look at the roster properly.


Around 12 or 1am, I thought it would be a good idea to check if a hot plate was turned on or off by putting two fingers on it. My state of inebriety was pretty far along at that stage, so you can guess how 1. My sense of touch wasn’t at it’s best and 2. My reactivity time was a little slow. Of course the plate was burning hot. “That’s gonna hurt tomorrow” was all I could say.


A guy at the party tells me he is a nurse and that I should put my fingers under running water. So he turns on the tap, sets the temperature and shoves my fingers under it. Nek minute, my friend who is hosting the party looks at me with such disapproving eyes because I’m using up all this water. I feel guilty and turn the tap off. Everyone around me cries “NOOOOO, keep your fingers under there!!!” and tell me all the reasons why this will help the healing process (suddenly they all turned into nurses, as drunk people often do). So I shoved my fingers back under the tap. I make a very good sheep. meeeh


I thought it would be a good idea to wear my skimpy cream Tallow dress again for that party. Totally unaware of the fact that I was on my periods and that it was going to be a very windy 17°C at best. Especially since I had given my last tampon to my colleague and then waited 45min in the freezing wind for the bus that would take me to Surry Hills. I wasn’t wearing a bra either, hello nipples.

[Did not think this through.]

I’ve also had the brilliant idea of writing a blog with super personal stories, for the world, including my friends and my parents, to see. Hello judgement.

[This could go wrong on so many levels.]

But then again, this blog gave me my first writing gig for an Australian magazine.

[Blonde but happy.]

Duck face on a giant snail

Duck face on a giant snail anyone?

PS : The running water on burnt fingers work if anybody is interested to know how that turned out. It hardly hurt the next day although my fingerprints are fairly messed up and couldn’t be recognised on the device at work to clock in our out. Well that made my colleagues laugh…


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