Swordfish Hotkiss Night.

Breathing to the beat. As soon as I set foot on Sydney central soil, I felt free again. It was party time again.

The emotional blackmail had worked. Of course it did. Rekha and I had been dumped off in Oberon 4 hours before our bus was due so we had the bright idea of buying some chocs and wine and find a spot to start getting our mojo on. After a bit of illegal binge drinking on high school grounds, we did a bit of mad singing in the bus and then the tiniest bit of mad dancing and singing on the train.

Cray cray Oh how happy I was. Even happier when the only person I told I was coming decided to pick me up from the station. How much easier is life when I’m back home. I got my boss from surfection’s brother to come and drink with me after we dropped my stuff at my place. It only took me two more bottles of wine to be off my trolley. I woke up the next day in his bed. Alone and fully clothed. Without any recollection of how I got here of course. It took me a while to manage to get up. I bumped into his roommate in the bathroom, who clearly wanted to laugh at me. Dear lord what had I done this time.

Apparently I’d ran away from A. at World Bar, he couldn’t reach or find me for a good 20 minutes before I decided to answer my phone after which he found me in a staircase in an alleyway outside, he had to drag me to his place while I was trying to escape a bunch of times, then I ordered him to change his bed sheets otherwise I’d run away again and he was gentlemanly enough to sleep on the couch. Thank god. Apparently I produced my electric cigarette/shisha, and with uber sophistication blew smoke in his face and then kissed him. I’m very sure he’s lying about the last part. I would never kiss my boss’ brother. That is a fact. Anyway since I don’t remember anything, technically it’s like I wasn’t there, so ha, nothing happened.

I didn’t have my home keys and all my roommates where at work, so I trotted off to Bondi to buy a bikini and steal a towel from Surfection.


When I told Alychee my adventures of the night she screamed through the store: “Dan!!!! Stella slept in you brother’s bed last night!!!”

Dear lord….

What made it even more awkward was when I bumped into the guy I had a short fling with before I left for the farm. While on my walk of shame. Perfect. Not. “What are you doing here Stella?!!”

“I could ask you the same thing…” Mister-Im-leaving-for-the-US-in-march-but-am-still-here-two-months-later. Walking into Surfection hungover and running into past hook-ups… Some things never change.

The good news was, my little trip back to the beach allowed me to say goodbye to my friend/colleague/surf-instructor Tilly who’s leaving for Europe the following week. I walked into the party and froze. Everyone was speaking French. My worst nightmare. Then I spotted Till and never left his side until Viv my other surfection colleague arrived with her gang. Awesome. We moved to beach road hotel for a more entertaining scene and more alcohol when Viv asked me: “Are you flirting with my mate?” “Dude, I’ve been stranded in the middle of nowhere for the last 2 months. Right now I’m flirting with everyone.” I thought that was a very smart answer, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is I’ve been without any social life for so long that I don’t even know how to flirt anymore. Unless I was doing it, but not on purpose. Well in that case we have another problem on our hands.

I was having the loveliest time with the tall Taylor Hanson Aussie look-alike though. “I know how you can stay forever in the country” he said to me. While I was waiting for the usual Why-don’t-you-find-an-aussie-boyfriend-and-marry-him-crap he went “I’ll make you a monkey suit, then you could live with all the other monkeys, I’ll come and feed you bananas, and there, no one will ever come and kick you out.” I tried not to laugh too much at his hilariosity and replied “Well there’s only a tini tiny problem with that plan…. I don’t like monkeys… Can I be a swordfish instead?” “Ok I’ll make you a swordfish suit”

The crazy talk went on for a while. How nice was this.

It was also absolutely amazing to bump into other crazy drunken friends. Especially since I’d literally told only two people I was coming.


The next day Rekha woke me up at 8am, 4 hours after I got home. “But you said you wanted to go for an early surf!” “IF I don’t get too drunk the night before, it was a really big IF Rekha.” “Oh sorry.” Nevermind, I got up and we went to bucket list for 10am ciders and burgers. Yessss. Home sweet home.


Since I’d been drunk-hungover-then-drunk-again-and-still-hungover for the past 48h we thought we’d take it slow on our last night and headed for the Beaver. After two ciders, the bar was already closing down. “Why don’t we tick something off your bucket list and go skinny dipping?” Rekha’s idea was genius. And mad because it was the beginning of winter and also this is Bondi = crowds. So we headed off to Tamarama where there should technically be no one there. Wrong. We hung about for a bit to see if that lonely person on the beach was leaving but it seemed not to be the case. So off to Bronte we went. I texted two friends, Viv, whom we’d just left at the Beaver and one who lives 2 seconds from that beach. I didn’t think any guy could be so disinterested at the thought of two girls prancing about naked in the ocean. Clearly that’s a new thing I must’ve missed out on while at the farm.

We got undressed as quickly as possible and ran into the surprisingly warm waters. The current was strong and slightly scary though. Quick dip, quick splashing about, and quick run back to our clothes that no one had stolen thank god.

All I heard back from Viv was: “COOL! Good call also don’t freeze” but clearly she told her Taylor Hanson mate because I received an fb message from him asking why he hadn’t received an invit. AH. Now that’s a reaction I should be able to understand. Awesome. We agreed there would be a next time when I come back from the farm “And you can try your swordfish suit” “But it kind of defeats the purpose of skinny dipping though doesn’t it?” “Naked it is then Stella.” HA yes. Oh wait was I flirting there? Beats me, I’ve lost all social abilities.

One last morning in Bondi, I took my board from the surfshop and paddled like there was no tomorrow. I’m not saying I was good at it. But the 20 minutes I was supposed to be in the water for so we didn’t miss our ride back to the farm turned into 45. Perfect weather, perfect waves for a beginner like me. Really I was crap, but that was the rush I needed to be able to come back to the farm without crying.

I put Georgia back at the store, said goodbye to everyone and left my city feeling a tad more accomplished.


XoXo – from the mountains with Love.

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